Coming Home to Yourself: Creating Space to Be Who You Truly Are

When I was running my home organising business in Sydney I worked with so many clients who had everything that screamed "success." Beautifully styled homes, armies of home-helpers and garages full of luxury cars. But what really stuck with me in many of these homes was something else, an energy that often didn’t match the aesthetic.

I experienced people barking orders at removalists, displeasure with anything other than "perfect", snapping at children, and barely acknowledging us as we were busy file folding undies. 

It wasn’t just stress, it was something deeper. A kind of brittle unhappiness. You could feel the tension vibrating off the walls. Living in a home that would place them firmly in the top 1% but it didn’t feel joyful. It didn’t feel calm. It didn’t feel like a life being fully lived. 

And I’m sure we all have stories like this. Of people who build their entire identity around status and possessions, and in doing so, lose their softness. You see it in the way they talk down to wait staff, treat those who work for them as lesser, and expect their children to be treated like royalty. Somewhere along the way, they’ve lost their connection to humility. To empathy. To their own humanness.

Building Lives Based on Shoulds

At some point, most of us, stop trusting who we are. We start looking outside of ourselves for the blueprint. We chase the version of success handed to us by society.  We perform. We please. We strive. We perfect.

We say yes when we want to say no. We scroll and compare. We buy the clothes, follow the influencers, and try to keep up.. And all the while, we drift further away from her, the version of ourselves we were before the world told us who to be.

When You Live in Performance Mode, You Forget

Living in a state of constant people pleasing or perfectionism isn't just exhausting. It severs your connection to your intuition. Your nervous system is on high alert, running on cortisol.  You’re chasing control, not peace.

The truth is - You can’t access your true self from that place. You can’t create a calm, meaningful life while you're in survival mode. You can’t build an intentional home from a foundation of fear.

You Have to Create Space

To reconnect with your authentic self, you have to slow down. You have to create space, physically, mentally, emotionally. That might mean clearing one cluttered surface. That might mean saying "no" without explanation. That might mean sitting in silence for five minutes and letting your breath catch up with you. That might mean cutting toxic - bad vibe people out of your life. That might mean leaving the kids with your partner for a weekend and taking yourself off somewhere calm so you can reconnect with yourself. 

This isn’t just decluttering for the sake of aesthetics. This is decluttering for you. Because when there is less noise, less distraction, less performance, you begin to hear the whisper:

"Come home."

You’ve Forgotten Who You Truly Are (But She’s Still in There)

That version of you who used to be silly and laugh loudly, who read books just because she loved them, who got excited about creating something from nothing? She’s still in there. She might be buried under laundry piles, permission slips, packed lunches, and expectations. But she hasn’t left. And she doesn’t need you to work harder or do more to find her. She needs you to stop. To listen. To choose alignment over approval.

From Fear to Freedom

So many of us are trying to fix our lives from a place of fear:

• Fear of judgment.

• Fear of letting go.

• Fear of getting it wrong.

The reality is,

You can’t create from fear.

You can only create from presence. From peace. From love. This is where the shift happens. When you move out of doing and into being, you remember:

You don’t need anything more. You just need to come back to who you already are.

 

Your Home is a Mirror

Every cluttered drawer, every chaotic cupboard, every room you avoid entering isn’t just a mess. It’s a mirror. It reflects the overwhelm. The stuckness. The disconnect.

But let’s not forget, some women have created homes that are seemingly perfect. Minimal, beautiful, curated. And still, they feel out of alignment. Because when you try to control your environment to the point of perfection, never letting the kids make a mess, doing everything yourself, expecting your home to look like a showroom at all times, you create a different kind of chaos.

A home that’s too perfect can become a prison. A place where nobody can relax. Where joy and spontaneity are replaced by exhaustion, pressure and resentment. Your home is still a mirror in this case. It reflects a fear of letting go, of losing control, of being seen as anything less than 'together.' Whether it's clutter or control, both can be symptoms of disconnection from self.

Decluttering isn’t about throwing things away. It’s about reconnecting to what matters most to the 'real' you (the one hiding behind all of the expectations and pressure). The one that knows that what you have within you is the true source of your joy and happiness in life. 

A Gentle Step to Start

So where do you begin?

Pick one surface in your home today, a bedside table, a bathroom shelf, a kitchen bench. Clear it completely. Then, only put back the things that:

• You love

• You use

• Reflect who you are 

Let it be a tiny sanctuary. Let it remind you what peace feels like. Because when you start small, everything starts to shift.

The Real Question: What Lights You Up?

A question to leave you with:

What are you doing for yourself that lights you up, that isn’t just about being a mum?

When was the last time you:

• Moved your body in a way that felt good?

• Sat in silence without guilt and just let your thoughts flow - without the need to distract yourself?

• Started something just because it excited you?

   

If the answer is I can't remember, that's your nudge. Not to feel bad. But to begin again.

You Are Worth Coming Home To

You don’t need a new planner. You don’t need better storage bins. You don’t need more time

You need space. You need presence. You need permission. And you already have that. Start today. One deep breath. One small yes to yourself. You are worth the journey back home.

Want Support On the Journey?

If you’re ready to take this deeper, to create a home that actually works for your life and reflects who you really are… Come check out The Intentional Home Program, my signature course designed to help you simplify, realign, and reclaim your space and your sense of self.

Click here to learn more